March 6, 2008
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“him that pisseth against the wall” w/favorite comment
my favorite comment one of you sent me regarding this video:
I don’t understand you guys (possibly women) at all. I only pee against walls. It’s been difficult to maintain 100% purity in my wall-peeing habits. Often, while I’m lifting weights and smoking cigars, I find that there’s a toilet nearby but no walls in sight. It’s times like these that I just have to man-up and pee on the nearest wall no matter who’s watching. Because I’m not here to please people – I’m here to please God. Sometimes, like when I’m chasing deer through the woods with a knife between my teeth, I’m surrounded by Manly-Jehova’s beautiful nature but there are no walls around. When I find myself far enough outside civilization like this I just hold it. I hold my pee until I return (with a freshly killed deer) to some place with walls. If Jesus could fast for 40 days then we, as men, ought to be able to hold our pee for 40 days as well. A few months ago I was in a rodeo and, having broken six ribs and both my feet, I was left sprawling in the middle of the rodeo circle and I didn’t have the strength to crawl to a wall. So I built a wall right there with my bare hands. And I peed on it. I should point out that the ruggedest men prefer gray concrete walls with pieces of steel jutting out while the more effeminate wall-pissers prefer stucco or anything with a pattern. I can only pray to my Cage-Fighting Jesus that all of you men learn to be as holy. And, of course, he’ll answer my prayer because I fulfill a culturally accepted gender role. Jack Danger Canty
Comments (89)
wow.
hahah who IS this guy..?!?
Haha, wow. Dang it, my childhood is coming back to haunt me. I’m doomed.
i don’t know if i should laugh or be stunned
does the ways men pee matter that much to God?
i have nothing of value to say about that… hah
oh my word! i half expected him to pee against the wall as a bow to his sermon…..he’s kinda strange…
~Mayra~
2 eprops for that… I laughed so hard I almost peed. I guess it’s kinda fitting for this video!
Please tell me this was all a big joke.
That changed my life and the way I will pee forever.
my dad is on a business trip in Germany right now…I’m afraid to ask him…
pistol whipped loves this video
I feel like he missed the part where this is a phrase used to describe men who are being WIPED OUT by God. As in, it’s probably a negative thing, not positive… And that’s like, not even the most disturbing part.
er…is there an appropriate responce to that? I’m kinda glad my preaching is coming from a British guy. Although i’m sure I could reel of a list of ‘things wrong with the UK today’.
Pissing against a wall would not be one of them.
I too, have always had very strong feelings about the peeing position of men, however mine, as I’m sure do the Germans’, involve aim.
Actually, I have no real feelings about this as my posture during urination is determined by my anatomy, not any sort of conviction toward my femininity. I will talk to our pastor today (who is a woman) and see if she will do a sermon about peeing sitting down so that you’re a woman, not merely a female. I will also try to get her to incorporate the word “pisseth” since it is so refined-sounding. I plan to use it at some point today.
This also struck me as funny because it kind of (and by “kind of” I mean very distantly, actually) relates to something we discussed at our college youth meeting last night about cussing. Someone said they accidentally said “pissed” in front of the preschool class they help with so it got them thinking that, if it’s not ok to say in front of little kids, it probably shouldn’t be said ever. A very good and reasonable conclusion, and one upon which we all agreed. However, the group conclusion was also that you are not damned to hell of you say words like damn and hell. Those words are in the Bibles written by men who pee standing up, dang it! I said “dang” because I pee sitting down. Wow, he’s right!
saw this a few weeks ago…i just don’t get it…
wait….it this for real?
Haha. Do you have connections at Duke Divinity School? We’ve been laughing about this video for weeks… and the scary thing is that he’s completely serious. You should check out the church’s website.
Lord, in your mercy, help us all to better see You.
AHAHAH this guy is ridiculous . . . also he kinda looks like Jack from LOST, if Jack was from the south and was really passionate about the manner in which he urinates . . .
I had put this same video on my blog a few weeks ago. Isn’t that AMAZING?
I too have had my rights and liberties as a Blessed American unlawfully repressed by the German bathroom police! I will not sit any longer, I will STAND up for my rights, and PEE!
I mean pisseth!
who is this guy? he’s an idiot. i don’t know if this is real.
Did you watch any of the related videos of this guy’s other sermons? It seems to me that that is HIS pulpit, not God’s. I hope his congregation realizes that, although I’m sure they don’t. He’s well on his way to becoming something of a Fred Phelps if he’s not careful.
Does this guy coach the Oklahoma State football team?
What the deuce?
fabulousity. well-played.
o.0″
this is really sad…
I have a feeling the video doesn’t show his congregation b/c it’s comprised of 2 people. This guy and his friend. That was so random.
finally! i was wondering what the problem with America was.
For those of you wondering if this guy is for real, yes, unfortunately he is. You can find his church’s website at http://www.faithfulwordbaptist.org/index.html . It is home to inspired essays explaining why the King James Version should be trusted over the original greek, why men cannot become gynecologists, why all music less than 50 years old is from the devil, and why bible colleges are anti-christian. Oh ya, and if you look on youtube you can find his sermon on why Billy Graham is going to hell. Ya, he’s for real, and he’s scarry. It’s true though, as speculated before, if you look at pictures of the congregation it looks basically like it’s his wife, kids (ya he has kids), and his neighbor.
i only counted 5 references…
haha…is this the mike gundy of preaching?
WOW!!!! This is insane I want to slap this guy upside the head with my biblical Exegesis book!
But seriously, you know things have gone wrong when I think, “Well, he’s not as bad as West Burro Baptist.” Sad….
well, if nothing else, he’s passionate. if only he’d use his powers for good. . .
absolutely hilarious.
I guess I gotta go throw my NIV away now.
lol… It’s kinda funny how he uses one phrase in 6 passages of real scripture (Yes, it is in there… I promise…) to preach a whole sermon on what’s wrong with America…
WHAT is the point of his guy’s sermon?? ok i’m sorry.. but this is why seminary is important.. some idiot actually “amen”-ed him! so this nut case is “challenging” men to pee standing up.. you know.. the type of people that God said he’d kill.. nice.. -_- idiots anger me
i was hoping this video was like this video: (vimeo is a cool video website by the way.. the quality/resolution of the videos are better than youtube.. this link is from my vimeo page)
blake’s big mistake
wowwwwww…i am amused and frightened at the same time.
I’m not sure why I watched all that… but I’m pretty sure I’ve gained nothing. LOL!
this guy pisseth me off.
i love to hope that he is kidding but the related stuff of this guy makes me believe he’s serious…
he missed the point completely.. I think he just wanted the shock value and biblical justification of saying piss.. or “pisseth” whateve
he DOES look like Jack from LOST… how apropos.
i’m a man. why i wear this spandex, and why i wear this hat?
The Hebrew verb is “shathan”, which means to urinate. But it’s simply used to designate males from females.
This guy however, is hilarious! I want him to be a standup comedian.
I wonder what kind of severance this guy got.
I thought “pissing” was slang for drinking. So perhaps we should not drink against the wall.
My question is this. . . if we should pee standing up, what happens when #2 is knocking on the door? Should we stand and pee first, then sit down and #2 to keep from sinning? Or, does the presence/immediacy of a #2 override the command to “pisseth against the wall”?
THIS GUY IS PISSING INTO THE WIND!
I bet his house smells like it, too!
Like a house with a litterbox and one too many cats, you can smell a house with guys pissing standing up.
if i must stand for something in this life,..yes, i will stand, i will pee..i will pee proudly with a smile of defiance and determination on my face. i will throw my head back with my conan laugh ever so bold , ever so confident , ever so relieved as the victorious sound of a flush permeates my typmanic membrane and i yell “i’ll be baaaaaaaaack”
one of my wife’s seminary professors just addressed this exact scripture reference and how the KJV is no undinified to use in modern times, not to mention that it is not compared against nearly as many manuscripts as newer versions like the NIV and the ESV and several others. I would be very fearful of being near a man like this who crapeths this much irreverance over what God was saying in this passage and tries to contort it to talk about why I can’t pee sitting down. This is sad that these things are actually being said from a pulpit in a church.
@deadescort - man, that was the first thing that hit me too. now i might now be able to #2 from all of the confusion.
wow.. that’s insane.
have you seen this one? hilarious. i laugh out loud… almost in tears everytime.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXVakE5lEX0
I personally enjoy my NIV translation…and don’t want to think such things about the translator of it whom I met a few years ago!!
But then again…perhaps I like the NIV because I’m a woman, and hence I “pee sitting down.” hahaha
Where do you find these guys?
What the – ?
I’d hate to be the figurative wall in that sermon.
i have a fear of even bending down to pick something up of the ground… i don’t want the guilt of squatting.
what peril.
what shame.
Wow. Way to misunderstand the word of God.
The KVJ uses old language to describe a ” Male”
Nothing too amazing about that…
That is why we have ” modern” translations to assist us who don’t know
the old verbiage. Understanding what the Word of God says
without strange interpretations(that could occur), due to us not understanding what we just read.
Show some wisdom…
1 Samuel 25:21-23 (English Standard Version)
English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.
21Now David had said, “Surely in vain have I guarded all that this fellow has in the wilderness,so that nothing was missed of all that belonged to him, and he has returned me evil for good.
22 God do so to the enemies of David and more also, if by morning I leave so much as one male of all who belong to him.”
23 When Abigail saw David, she hurried and got down from the donkey
and fell before David on her face and bowed to the ground.
I know I shouldn’t laugh at that, but man, was it CRAZY! It was so upsetting all I could do was laugh.
It should be noted that in Basic Training, all US Air Force recruits are forced to sit while urinating. The reason given is that it’s easier to keep the toilets clean.
Sounds like he’s preaching on a pet peeve. Seriously… I don’t care what he says… there’s more important things to being a man, and there are more important things in society I would rather worry about. Yes, men need to be men, but talking about how we piss is a ridiculous way of going about preaching that. So. I’m having a hard time not being sarcastic.
I kept bursting out laughing until I realized he’s very serious. And like music_of_the_soul up there said, he somehow managed to forget about these pisseth-ing people getting wiped out by God. Hm.
They say the legend of Johnny Appleseed is based on Jack Danger Canty- all except for the part about planting apple trees and not pissing on walls.
hahahaha
Well, I for one think there would be happier janitors and hotel cleaning staff in the world if more men would pee sitting down…think about it.
wow. did you have fun at the Gathering?
doubt anyone will read this, but, here’s the source for the hilarious “favorite quote” by Jack Canty.
Jack Danger Canty’s comment
http://eugenecho.wordpress.com/2008/02/18/pee-pee/
Oh. Wow. Talk about some issues with rightly dividing the Word of Truth!
“Judas went and killed himself… go thou and do likewise.”
@deadescort - BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
oh wow…
that’s all i can say.Never really looked that hard at that particular passage.. me being a KJV reader and all..very..um..interesting.
Okay, okay, I love the comment! I burst out laughing after nearly every sentence. This is true sarcasm, my friends, true sarcasm.
Is this guy for real? I mean, did he study the history of english at all?
The phrase he’s talking about occurs ONLY in the KJV and Douay-Rheims versions of Sacred Scripture. Both of them are written in “old” english. Modern translations use the word “male”.
I really get a kick out of the ones who think the Bible was somehow dropped out of Heaven KJV, fully bound, gold-edged pages with the words of Jesus in red.
well i suppose we all have something to strive for now
haha this is outtta control.
where is this phrase in the bible?
hahahahhaha “i’m gonna tell you something, i’m not gonna pee sitting down.”
We presbyterians are way ahead of him. We’ve been sprinkling for almost 400 years.
hahahahah you have some pretty clever readers and commenters there.
and…some not so much. lol
i think if i were sitting in that congregation or class, i would’ve been rebuked for being a disruption due to too much giggling or trying to NOT giggle but still giggling.
and also, i actually lol when i write lol about 95% of the time, and this time, when i read that comment that person wrote, i really did lol. funny guy.
i don’t even know what to say! good grief!
Hey, I found this http://www.mapsu.org someone needs to send it to that preacher and then he can protest them or something. It stands for Mother’s Against Peeing Standing Up. They even sell t-shirts to support their cause.
This is wonderful… I appreciate the representation of translations other than The KJV as effeminate. Oh buddy. Hilarious.
Also, whenever I’m at my parents house and I’m peeing outside, I like to pee FROM this one wall that stands at a great height. I certainly don’t pee ON it. I wonder what that says about me.
OK..so, I know who this guy is. I’m an IT recruiter (or was…or is in between IT recruiting gigs) and he is part of a community called Working With Rails…he’s a Ruby On Rails web developer……and this could only come from an RoR developer…….he’s a nice guy…just a wee (pardon the pun) off his rocker.
http://www.workingwithrails.com/person/5716-jack-danger-canty
Enjoy…..give him some love.
here are the sequels to the initial link someone posted:
http://eugenecho.wordpress.com/2008/02/19/pee-pee-sequel/
http://eugenecho.wordpress.com/2008/02/25/my-final-pee-pee-post-forever/
but i think we need to all move on from the pisseth video.
I swear that I commented on this yesterday. Anyway, this guy is an awesome web developer…not sure of what kind of guy he is.
Anyway, maybe my comment got deleted because I put his Working With Rails profile on here. (by the way, in an email exchange, he was digging the blog)
Yeah, this is a trite joke, but I have to say it…
Chuck Norris only pisses on walls
My poor husband must not be a Christian….or a man for that matter….his mom would never allow him to stand up when he was a boy. He actually has trepidation around urinals.
what about “him that pisseth against the electric fence”?
now when I looked up his six references they’re all talking about men that wronged others and needed to be wiped off the face of the earth. if that’s what it means to be one who pees standing up then I don’t think I’ve ever going to pee standing up again. that’s it, I’ve just officially resigned myself to peeing sitting down for the rest of my life. bring on the squatty potties i’m done with standing.
I’m kinda glad my preaching is coming from a British guy. Although i’m sure I could reel of a list of ‘things wrong with the
All the things you agree interferes with my intelligence, I judge hence
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